On the first day of extended day kindergarten, one of my new all day kids said, "When I grown up I am going to be a police officer and arrest you for teaching kids!" When I asked how he thought he was going to get away with that he used the very simple logic, "I can arrest anyone I want!"
This poor girl, the first day that she did fluoride somehow missed the direction to spit her fluoride back into the cup when the minute was up. (SUU students help kids with this in the hall) She is generally quiet, so naturally when she walked up to me and started gesturing with her hands I told her to "use her words." I felt AWFUL 40 minutes later when she gestured from her mouth to the trash can and I had the awful realization that she still had fluoride. I promptly told her, "Yes! Spit it out!" and apologized. Later I had to laugh because that was pretty remarkable that someone of any age could maintain that fluoride for so long without spitting it or swallowing it! When I told her mom about it she had the grace to see the humor in it also.
Our playground has one of those big tic tac toe boards on it. One of the kids came and told me, "I am playing tic tac toe, I am the o and Olly is the tic!"
When I picked up my class from PE one of the boys said, "My hairs are hot!"
that
The school counselor would come every other Friday and talk to the kids about skills that help us communicate better and to have friends. One day she asked the kids how much sleep they should be getting, my favorite answer was, "90-40-2!"
The speech therapist came to the extended day class and did some group lessons with them. When they were working on the /g/ sound she had them each tell her what their imaginary goat would eat. One of them said, "I feed my goats humans." When I looked at him in surprise he said, "What? He is a mean goat!"
I wish I remembered the context for this one, but part of what made me laugh about it is that it was one of my "tough guy" students. At some point this year I said something that caused him to respond with, "You're going to make me faint!"
One of my students made me completely question the decision to read them a story called Santa's Underwear because of how he answered a question. The story is about Santa looking for his favorite Christmas underwear so that he can go out and deliver presents without getting cold. At the end, there is a new pair hanging in his closet with a note from the reindeer saying that they had noticed the year before that he was badly in need of a new pair (it showed the old holy pair hanging on a clothesline). I asked them (poor decision on my part) how the reindeer knew Santa needed new underwear. Without missing a beat one of my students flipped around in his spot and said, "because they saw this!" and promptly mooned me. Surprisingly, and thankfully, I don't think that the class really picked up on what had happened.
On 100's Day we all dressed up like we were 100 years old and one of my students declared that "old people look like potatoes!"
When I asked the kids why they thought the ocean was salty my favorite answers were: 1) "People put a lot of salt in it" 2) "So the fish can breathe" and 3) "The salt comes off the fish."
One of my students, ever a peacemaker was playing with toys one day when someone knocked over their house. I watched with some concern as he turned to that kid, put his hands on either side of his face and said, "Don't break our house you silly goose!"
One morning when the kids were playing with toys I heard a bunch of them chatting together. One of the girls said, "I can even beat up 11 year olds."
One of my sweet students struggles with the art of communicating. One day I was trying to explain to them that they are not allowed to hit someone when he came back with, "Teacher you don't love me!" I assured him that I did, but even though I love him I can't let him hit people. "No, you don't! You don't love me! You're mad at me!" Though I hope that one day he understands better, I also hope that he maintains his sensitivity. If I ever made a sound, even for a character in a story we were reading he would say, "Are you okay teacher?!" Bless his sweet soul.
Towards the end of school I was picking up my students from the computer lab, the computer teacher told them they could line up by me when they were finished. One of them jumped in line and said, "Teacher, I am done as a bun!"
No comments:
Post a Comment