Kayli, Kayli, Kayli

I told Kayli (because she said that I should write another post now), that I was going to write about her. She seems to think that is a lousy idea...

So, in the process of moving and going through all of my stuff I found a bunch of pictures; most of them don't have dates on them, but they range from Kindergarten to College. Though I know we all seem to think that we will remember everything with perfect clarity, that simply is not the case. I can't look at all of those pictures and tell you when each was taken. I can't look at all those pictures and remember the names of everyone in them, or even identify cousins that are much bigger now. I can't look at the pictures and identify the occasion or even remember stories that go along with them all. The only thing that I know for sure when I look at those pictures is this: I have a SUPER awesome family. Even not knowing what exactly is going on in the pictures and when, I still look at the pictures and see happiness. I see that all of us look happy to be together. We look like we are enjoying wherever we are and whatever we are doing. Even if I don't remember exactly what was going on for a specific picture, it does trigger happy memories, or thoughts of gratitude for my family.

For example, there were several pictures of me holding my new ornament (Christmas time tradition). I don't remember every ornament I got, or even every trip to choose one. I do remember singing "Love Story" by Taylor Swift on the way to get ornaments. I remember driving around and seeing the Christmas lights all over town. I remember choosing between ornaments. I remember being excited to see what everyone else chose.

I saw a picture of a picnic table at Payson Lakes, and a few aunts and uncles. I don't know if that was a family reunion. I don't know how old I was. I don't know who I hung out with. I do remember paddle boat rides on the lake. I remember sitting and reading Harry Potter with aunt Tonya. I remember feeding chipmunks chips. I remember that the scar I have on my leg was because I tripped over some bikes there once. I remember swimming. I remember sitting on the retaining wall and just letting my feet get wet.

I saw a picture of myself and my siblings throwing rocks. I don't remember what cabin trip this was. I do know that we made it a family tradition to go on a walk and we would stop and throw rocks at a certain pine tree (we gotta test our aim and distance). I remember other cabin trips where we worked on our fort at the side of the cabin (seriously, we had benches, we decorated with pretty rocks, there was a trail in, and a branch that served as the "door"). I remember four wheeler rides (some on the back, some where I got to drive). I remember camping in a tent where the basketball court was going to be someday. I remember playing games. I remember that I always chose the same mattress every time we went to the cabin. I remember placing that mattress under the skylight and looking out to what I could see.

I could go on and on about what memories the pictures surfaced, and many of them are probably not at all related to "that one time that picture was taken." I do know that almost all of them involve family and happiness. I could even tell that in a couple of them that Connor was pretending to be Gus from Psych, though I have no idea what quote had just been quoted.

The moral of the story is: Even though it can be super frustrating to not remember everything, it is nice to see evidence of years and years with a happy family, and it is nice to remember time spent with them (even if it isn't the "right" memory).

Part B of the moral of this story is: Keep up on your scrapbooking and you will probably not have to have those frustrating moments where you wonder what and where something was happening...

The second moral of the story is, that even though this post isn't all about Kayli, she is still in a lot of those pictures and memories, and that is great! She is great, and we will carry on in greatness (or lameness, depending on the day).

Love: Feeling vs. Acting

I have had a lot of time in the last week or so to reflect on love. My mom will probably write an awesome book someday about loving every day, we had a family reunion where there was some discussion about love and covenants, and then I came home and continued my reading of The Five Love Languages. It was during this reading that I came across an excellent concept--we are capable of feeling love, but also of acting with love; and they do not necessarily have to be happening at the same time.

This same idea was also presented in the book How to Hug a Porcupine, when the author talked about being kind and caring because that is who we are and not necessarily because the other person deserves it. In other words, acting with love, or making the decision to love for ourselves. I had read that months ago, but it took what I read today for it to really hit home that, "Hey! I can do something about this!" In The Five Love Languages he illustrated this point with the story of a woman that asked him if it was possible to love someone that you hate, or that hates you. Because she was a religious woman he went to the scriptures for help in answering her question and came across the scripture about loving our enemies, doing good to them that hate us, and blessing those that curse us. Luke 6:27-36 (There is a link the the scripture, it is not the King James Version, but the message is there). Anyway, it goes on to say that anyone can love those that love them, but how much greater are we if we can love those that hate us? To carry on, this woman said that she was willing to try, but struggled with the feeling that if she was acting how she did not feel that she was being hypocritical. Gary Chapman (author of The Five Languages), told her that he thought it would be hypocritical to claim to feel things that you do not; but to act with love and do something for someone else is a decision we make. He went on to say, "Certainly we do not have warm feelings for people that hate us. That would be abnormal, but we can do loving acts for them. That is simply a choice."

Though Jesus was perfect, and was therefore probably able to act and feel lovingly towards those that hated him, hurt him, and cursed him. I think that, perhaps, if we can focus on acting with love rather than feeling it that we will be fulfilling that commandment. There are days when I don't feel particularly loving in general, but I can still perform loving actions on those days. There are certainly people that I just don't mesh with or even like, but I can act with love towards them too. In The Happiness Project Gretchen talks about acting the way we want to feel, and many times she ended up feeling that way. Who knows? Maybe the secret to getting out of a grumpy funk is to act with love, and on a smaller scale "the best way to defeat your enemies is to make them your friends" (Loose Abraham Lincoln quote), maybe if we act with love towards those that make us crazy, we will feel a little less crazed. That would certainly make a lemony day more sweet!